Thursday, September 16, 2010

Getting Dressed In Front of Strangers

So today I had to go into a federal building of some sort. I won't bore you with the details. And thank goodness the signs posted in the lobby warned me to leave my guns and knives outside the security check. WOW! That would have been embarrassing! But I did have to remove my belt.
I don't usually wear a belt. Most days I walk around yanking my shorts or jeans up around my waist, occasionally flashing some innocent mom at the park or mall. (Cause that's where all moms hang out, right?)
But today I wore a belt.
The man at the security check very politely asked me to remove it. Well, he didn't exactly ask. It was more like, "remove your belt."
And of course I did. With a "swish" reminiscent of a sword fighter. (In case that didn't make sense to you I removed it rather quickly.)
So up up up I went in the elevator, desperately trying to slip my belt back into the tiny belt loops on my jeans while perfect strangers observed me.
Apparently they knew better than to wear a belt inside this building.
The reason I'm even telling y'all this story is that there are days when I feel like I'm naked and struggling to get dressed in front of a room full of strangers. Days like today for instance. When I go to check my email and find an incredibly, horribly evil and downright rude rejection just lurking there for me to read and I feel as if the child I carried for twenty-four months, birthed twice and then spent the next ten years primping into perfection has been bitch slapped. Yes. That is what it feels like. And then! And then their favorite toy is ripped from their grasp and thrown into a ditch.
Yes. Rejections. They can truly ruin your day.
And just in case you were wondering, the most painful rejections are not the ones that tell you how horribly bad you are. Nope. It's actually quite the opposite.
They're the ones that explain in detail how much they liked the manuscript and how it was "so close."
I know all about "so close."
Right now I'm "so close" to losing my mind.


  1. Hey Shari! I found your blog through AW and I hope you don't mind if I take a look around!

    Anyway, thank you for this honest post. My agent plans to start subbing my novel next week and I'm super excited yet very nervous. It's like I'm querying all over again!

    Hang in there! I'm sure one day soon I'll be reading about your sale over on Publishers Marketplace. :o)

  2. Welcome Caroline!! Congrats on venturing out into the submission process! It really is exciting! Rejections are very different when you're subbing. At least your book is getting read by editors!! I'd love to hear how things work out with you!!