Lately I've been frustrated with this whole writer-thing. The process is mind numbing and I'm feeling broken. After reading around on the internet I find I'm not alone. Authors, no matter whether or not they are published, are struggling. We are in a creative field. A competitive, creative field where everyone fears that one day they will wake up and either discover they are no longer creative or realize they were never that creative to begin with. Trends have been set. And the world has moved on without them.
This industry is constantly changing. Are werewolves, vampires and faeries a flash in the pan or are they outstaying their welcome? I know I've never really been a fan of faeries and until recently vampires and werewolves were a bit too gruesome for me. So perhaps I'm not the best person to answer that question. But here's what I do know...I'm a storyteller.
And that's all I am, folks. I tell stories. Always have. When I enrolled in photography school I had one goal in mind. Become a photojournalist! Travel the world and use my camera to tell a story. But by the time I graduated I wasn't so sure I wanted to head on out to places unknown so I figured I'd tackle New York and Connecticut. There was this elusive enchantress I had to capture first, the bride. She dazzled me, flirted with me while I struggled to capture each provocative moment. It was a fun story to tell. Colorful, emotional and engaging. And it helped pay the bills.
Even though I still find myself drawn into that world it truly isn't the story I want to share anymore. I have new voices in my head. They moved in right around the time my father passed away and until their stories are told they won't be silenced. And that's okay. I like them. Behind their dynamic pleas to be heard is my father's softer voice. He tells me I should keep trying. He's always believed I should write.
I may not write for everyone but the stories I tell are those I would have read when I was a young adult. Forget that. I'd read them now. I guess I'll never grow up.
And this blog. It helps. While I'm writing or not writing I feel like I'm connecting with people. Getting thoughts down. Polishing my chops until I have more reasons to write like deadlines or readers or when more voices move in and replace the voices I hear now.
Yes. That's why I write. In the end it will all be worth it. I believe that. If not for the voices, for me.